Not Avoiding, but Solving the Problem: What Are the Benefits of Conflict?

Benefit of conflict

Sometimes everyone gets into situations of conflict, divergence of interests and views with the interests of others. And it can hardly be avoided because we are different.- Benefits of Conflict

Is It Worth to Keep Silent in a Conflict- Benefits of Conflict

Conflict is inevitable, and sometimes necessary. By keeping silent about their needs, we thereby form an internal dissatisfaction that only increases the distance in the relationship.  At any time, sometimes the most inopportune, it threatens to come out unexpectedly in the form of an emotional explosion. And then it will be obvious that you, in fact, for a long time deceived each other out of fear of conflict. So, the timely recognition of their dissatisfaction with certain issues can even bring you and your partner, making the relationship stronger.

The conflict itself is sometimes painful, carrying a plume of negative emotions. We may suffer ourselves or bring suffering to those we love. We may lose or be humiliated. Still, such feelings arise more as a result of an insufficiently correct approach to ways of resolving and getting out of a conflict situation. And much depends on the attitude toward the conflict itself. Everything will change if we perceive it not as a struggle, but as a problem, a task to be solved. You don’t treat your opponent as an enemy to be defeated, but as a partner in conflict.

Why It Is Important to See the Positive Aspects of Constructive Conflict Resolution

  • Mutually valid solutions are found in the process of discussion.
  • The parties to the conflict feel that they are part of the dialogue, that they have an opportunity to speak out.
  • The mutually accepted decision is more quickly embodied in a reality.
  • Participants gain experience in cooperating in the resolution of points of contention.
  • As a result, relationships and understanding between the parties improve.
  • Participants in the conflict stop being afraid and avoid arguments and possible negative consequences.

The Main Strategies for Resolving Conflict Situations 

You can determine your type by completing the Thomas-Kilmann questionnaire:

  • Rivalry (competition) is active attempts to oppose the partner and the desire to achieve their interests at all costs.
  • Insistence (coercion) is when one of the parties tries by all means to force the partner to accept their point of view, without taking into account anyone’s interests but their own.
  • Adaptation is when one party gives in everything and brings its interests in sacrifice to the partner. Such tactics are effective if you value the relationship with your partner more than your own lost benefits.
  • Compromise is the desire of both sides to make mutual concessions, sacrificing something for the benefit of the other side to reach an agreement. This strategy allows you to maintain goodwill and come to a resolution of the conflict as quickly as 22Bet best online worldwide bookmaker starts offering new betting options. However, due to the incomplete satisfaction of the interests of the participants, this tactic can lead to conflict again in the future.
  • Avoidance, or withdrawal, is when both parties or one party seeks to completely isolate themselves from the conflict. This strategy can be justified if the subject matter of the dispute isn’t so significant or there are no suitable conditions for the resolution of the conflict at the moment.
  • The best tactic is collaboration is an open exchange of views and an eventual solution that fully satisfies the interests of both parties.

What to Do to Ensure That the Outcome of the Conflict Is the Best Possible One and That the Relationship Doesn’t Collapse- Benefits of Conflict

If you intend to keep the relationship going, it is necessary to continue direct communication with each other despite anger, anger and irritation (yours or your partner’s). If you stop communicating with someone with whom you are in conflict, you are walking away from the possibility of a resolution that satisfies both parties.

First, you need positive encouragement – accepting and respecting your partner’s position. Understanding that he can contribute to finding a mutually beneficial solution.

Secondly, competent communication, which consists of the ability to listen to the partner (to understand the reason for the conflict, the needs of the other party and the possible actions of the partner in resolving the situation). This also includes the ability to provide the other party with the same information about their position on these issues.

And third, you will need the skill of cooperation – bringing the interests of the parties into a single chain without domination by any of the participants, finding a mutually satisfying consensus, supporting and understanding each other.

In order for our intentions and feelings to be accepted and heard by our partner, we can offer the technique of self-sentence.- Benefits of Conflict

In the course of the conversation, we should talk about ourselves and our experiences, bypassing references to our partner and the word “you.” For example, when we dislike the behavior of a certain person, we often say to him, “You are so clumsy and sluggish,” or “You are always late – so unpunctual. It’s easy to guess what kind of response such words can arouse – resistance, rejection, resentment.

When we say of ourselves, “I get frustrated when others are sloppy and slow,” “It upsets and annoys me when people are late and don’t keep their appointments on time,” there is no blame or desire to offend. Your words, however, will be heard and taken much more tolerantly. And they will probably serve as a reason to correct the situation and undesirable behavior.

If you hear your partner’s comments about you, don’t respond in a hurry. Ask him first: “Did I get it right, what do you mean that…?” After all, many intractable conflicts sometimes arise because one party simply wants to express its position on a certain issue, rather than seek a compromise and a mutually beneficial solution.

So, it’s useful to ask yourself if there is anything that your partner said that is really fair to me: “What exactly hurt me?”, “Can I temporarily forget the unfair remarks and agree with the truthful ones?” If you can find some truth in what the other side says, there will be much less reason for a serious conflict to break out. Besides , you can even thank your partner for the feedback because now you understand what you can improve and can work on it.

Another technique that will help in building relationships and smoothing out the heat of the conflict is the technique of emphasizing commonality.

It can reduce emotional tension and shift the attention of the parties to a positive way. It consists of thinking about what you and your conflict partner have in common.  These can be personal characteristics, goals, virtues. It’s better to name such qualities that your partner would be pleased and interested to hear, but that they prove to be true. For example: “I think what we have in common is that we both want to get this situation resolved.” Or, “I think Annie that what we have in common is quick thinking.”

Emphasizing commonality brings conflict partners closer together. But for this technique to reduce emotional tension, necessary that your statement relates to the qualities your partner accepts in himself or herself.

So, it’s more effective to perceive the conflict as a way to open up additional opportunities, the discovery of mutual prospects for personal growth. Besides, conflicts can improve the relationship, relieve us of hidden dissatisfaction with the partner.